Golf is a good walk spoiled. Mark Twain
If you drink don’t drive. Don’t even putt. Dean Martin
The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf – it’s almost a law. H G Wells
Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. John Updike
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens. Bob Hope
I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles. G K Chesterton
Golf is a game who’s aim it is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose. Winston Churchill.
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. Dave Barry
The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows. P G Wodehouse
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. Jim Bishop
One of the nice things about the Senior Tour is that we can take a cart and cooler. If your game is not going well, you can always have a picnic. Lee Trevino
I still swing the way I used to, but when I look up the ball is going in a different direction. Lee Trevino
If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. Paul Gallico
Magellan went around the world in 1521, which is not too many strokes when you consider the distance. Joe Laurie Jr
If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. Joey Adams
Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad. A A Milne
Sport is a wonderful metaphor for life. Of all the sports that I played – skiing, baseball, fishing – there is no greater example than golf, because you’re playing against yourself and nature. Robert Redford
There is no such thing as natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls. Lee Trevino
You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work. Lee Trevino