You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. Dean Martin
If you drink don’t drive. Don’t even putt. Dean Martin
I’d hate to be a teetotaller. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that’s as good as you’re going to feel all day. Dean Martin
When Jerry Lewis and I were big, we used to go to parties, and everybody thought I was big-headed and stuck up, and I wasn’t. It was because I didn’t know how to speak good English, so I used to keep my mouth shut. Dean Martin
I can’t stand an actor or actress who tells me acting is hard work. It’s easy work. Anyone who says it is hard never had to stand on his feet all day dealing blackjack. Dean Martin
Milton Berle is an inspiration to every young person that wants to get into show business. Hard work, perseverance, and discipline: all the things you need…when you have no talent. Dean Martin
There’s a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks better than he does. Dean Martin