Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It’s something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town. Steve Martin
When the Academy called, I panicked. I thought they might want their Oscars back and the pawn shop has been out of business for a while. Woody Allen
I carried my Oscar to bed with me. My first and only three-way happened that night. Halle Berry
There’s a lot of great movies that have won the Academy Award, and a lot of great movies that haven’t. You just do the best you can. Clint Eastwood
We want to thank all of you for watching us congratulate ourselves tonight. Warren Beatty
The Golden Globes are fun. The Oscars are Business. Warren Beatty
The Oscars is really, I guess, the one night of the year you can see all your favorite stars without having to donate any money to the Democratic party. And it’s exciting for the stars as well, it’s the first time many of you have ever voted for a winner. Jon Stewart