An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been discontinued. Irvin S Cobb
When I die, my epitaph should read: She Paid the Bills. That’s the story of my private life. Gloria Swanson
I picture my epitaph: ‘Here lies Paul Newman, who died a failure because his eyes turned brown.’ Paul Newman
You know, the greatest epitaph in the country is here in Arizona. It’s in Tombstone, Ariz., and this epitaph says, ‘Here lies Jack Williams. He done his damndest.’ I think that is the greatest epitaph a man could have. Harry S Truman
The rarest quality in an epitaph is truth. Henry David Thoreau
When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: ‘I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn’t like.’ Will Rogers
If the whole human race lay in one grave, the epitaph on its headstone might well be: ‘It seemed a good idea at the time.’ Rebecca West
Epitaph for a dead waiter – God finally caught his eye.’ George S Kaufman
I have somewhere met with the epitaph on a charitable man which has pleased me very much. I cannot recollect the words, but here is the sense of it: ‘What I spent I lost; what I possessed is left to others; what I gave away remains with me.’ Joseph Addison