A sport is something that requires specialist clothing whereas all you need to play professional darts is a loud shirt that you don’t tuck into your trousers, a stomach the size of Staffordshire and an idiotic nickname. Jeremy Clarkson
Before a match I like to relax with 25 bottles of Holsten Pils and six steak n’ kidney pies. Andy Fordham
Cliff Lazarenko’s idea of exercise is a firm press on a soda siphon. Sid Waddell
We couldn’t have more excitement if Elvis walked in and asked for a chip sandwich. Sid Waddell
William Tell could take an apple off your head, Taylor could take out a processed pea. Sid Waddell
That was like throwing three pickled onions into a thimble! Sid Waddell
Darts players are probably a lot fitter than most footballers in overall body strength. Sid Waddell
Steve Beaton, he’s not Adonis, he’s THE donis. Sid Waddell