I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not. Fran Lebowitz
It may be that the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong – but that is the way to bet. Damon Runyon
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. W. C. Fields
The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket. Kin Hubbard
One of these days in your travels, a guy is going to come up to you and show you a nice brand-new deck of cards on which the seal is not yet broken, and this guy is going to offer to bet you that he can make the Jack of Spades jump out of the deck and squirt cider in your ear. But, son, do not bet this man, for as sure as you are standing there, you are going to end up with an earful of cider. Damon Runyon