Fran Lebowitz Quotes

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not. Fran Lebowitz

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. Fran Lebowitz

The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. Fran Lebowitz

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. Fran Lebowitz

Food is an important part of a balanced diet. Fran Lebowitz

Technological innovation has done great damage … to eating habits. Food is now available in such unpleasant forms that one frequently finds smoking between courses to be an aid to digestion. Fran Lebowitz

Japanese food is very pretty and undoubtedly a suitable cuisine in Japan, which is largely populated by people of below average size. Hostesses hell-bent on serving such food to occidentals would be well advised to supplement it with something more substantial and to keep in mind that almost everybody likes french fries. Fran Lebowitz

Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc jockey is not allowed to talk. Fran Lebowitz

Citizen’s Band radio renders one accessible to a wide variety of people from all walks of life. It should not be forgotten that all walks of life include conceptual artists, dry cleaners, and living poets. Fran Lebowitz

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. Fran Lebowitz

Do not approach with anything even resembling assurance a restaurant that moves. Fran Lebowitz