Stephen Wright Quotes

There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. Stephen Wright

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. Stephen Wright

I intend to live forever. So far, so good. Stephen Wright

It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to have to paint it. Stephen Wright

I got a new dog. He’s a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he’s not sure what I threw him. Stephen Wright

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second. Stephen Wright

Right now I’m having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before. Stephen Wright

I replaced the headlights on my car with strobe lights. Now it looks like I’m the only one moving. Stephen Wright

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done. Stephen Wright

I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. Stephen Wright

I’m writing an unauthorized autobiography. Stephen Wright

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. Stephen Wright

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car. Stephen Wright

I have an existential map; it has ‘you are here’ written all over it. Stephen Wright