Spike Milligan Quotes

I’m a hero wid coward’s legs, I’m a hero from the waist up. Spike Milligan

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion. Spike Milligan

Money couldn’t buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy. Spike Milligan

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy. Spike Milligan

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order. Spike Milligan

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. Spike Milligan

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven. Spike Milligan

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. Spike Milligan

And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. Spike Milligan

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs? Spike Milligan

His vibrato sounded like he was driving a tractor over a ploughed field with weights tied to his scrotum. Spike Milligan

It was a perfect marriage. She didn’t want to and he couldn’t. Spike Milligan

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States. Spike Milligan

Her mother was a cultivated women…she was born in a greenhouse. Spike Milligan