Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. Phyllis Diller
Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance? Phyllis Diller
I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them. Phyllis Diller
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the sidewalk before it stops snowing. Phyllis Diller
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. Phyllis Diller
My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit. Phyllis Diller
What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. Phyllis Diller
Poverty is hereditary – you get it from your children. Phyllis Diller
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. Phyllis Diller