Fashion is what you adopt when you don’t know who you are. Quentin Crisp
There was no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn’t get any worse. Quentin Crisp
There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can’t think what to do with the long winter evenings. Quentin Crisp
If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style. Quentin Crisp
The young always have the same problem – how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another. Quentin Crisp
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, ‘Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe?’ Quentin Crisp
The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster. Quentin Crisp
An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last instalment missing. Quentin Crisp
Decency must be an even more exhausting state to maintain than its opposite. Those who succeed seem to need a stupefying amount of sleep. Quentin Crisp
The law is simply expediency wearing a long white dress. Quentin Crisp
I don’t hold with abroad and think that foreigners speak English when our backs are turned. Quentin Crisp
However low a man sinks he never reaches the level of the police. Quentin Crisp
The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we have of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us. Quentin Crisp