Democracy consists of choosing your dictators after they’ve told you what you think it is you want to hear. Alan Coren
The Act of God designation on all insurance policies; which means, roughly, that you cannot be insured for the accidents that are most likely to happen to you. Alan Coren
I wonder sometimes if manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things. Alan Coren
Television is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room. Alan Coren
A humorist tells himself every morning, ‘I hope it’s going to be a rough day.’ When things are going well, it’s much harder to make the right jokes. Alan Coren