There are two seasons in Scotland: June and winter. Billy Connolly
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit. Billy Connolly
I’d always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes. Billy Connolly
I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless. Billy Connolly
The great thing about Glasgow is that if there’s a nuclear attack it’ll look exactly the same afterwards. Billy Connolly