There may be said to be two classes of people in the world: those who constantly divide the people of the world into two classes, and those who do not. Robert Benchley
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work he’s supposed to be doing at the moment. Robert Benchley
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. Robert Benchley
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people. Robert Benchley
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it’s compounding a felony. Robert Benchley
It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by that time I was too famous. Robert Benchley
Behind every argument is someone’s ignorance. Robert Benchley
The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps. Robert Benchley
Streets flooded. Please advise. (Telegram from Venice to his editor) Robert Benchley
The Great Arizona Desert is full of the bleaching bones of people who waited for me to start something. Robert Benchley
Sunday morning may be cheery enough, with its extra cup of coffee and litter of Sunday newspapers, but there is always hanging over it the ominous threat of 3pm, when the sun gets around to the back windows and life stops dead in its tracks. Robert Benchley
Birds which are the same color as the foliage in which they nest are less likely to be disturbed by other birds who want to drop in and chat, and therefore last longer. Robert Benchley
Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to end up by wearing all the skin of his left ear from twirling around on it. Robert Benchley