If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it. Art Buchwald
Americans are broad-minded people. They’ll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater, and even a newspaperman, but if a man doesn’t drive, there is something wrong with him. Art Buchwald
We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today. I don’t think it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great. If you’re hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time. Art Buchwald
You can’t make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you’re doing is recording it. Art Buchwald
Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was. Art Buchwald
I worship the quicksand he walks in. Art Buchwald
Whether it’s the best of times or the worst of times, it’s the only time we’ve got. Art Buchwald
A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it. Art Buchwald