How can you tell if you discipline effectively? Ask yourself if your disciplinary methods generally produce lasting results in a manner you find acceptable. Whether your philosophy is democratic or autocratic, whatever techniques you use – reasoning, a ‘star’ chart, time-outs, or spanking – if it doesn’t work, it’s not effective. Stanley Turecki
Particularly in the early years of the child’s development, parents may get different opinions from professionals who view the child in different settings. A pediatrician seeing the child in a busy office diagnoses ‘attention deficit disorder’; a nursery school teacher who observes the child in an unruly classroom calls him ‘hyperactive’ … a psychologist or psychiatrist … decides he’s very active but not ‘hyper’ and talks of emotional and family problems; while a neurologist, meeting with the child on a one-to-one basis,… says he is ‘normal. Stanley Turecki
Excessive attention, even if it’s negative, is such a powerful ‘reward’ to a child that it actually reinforces the undesirable behavior. You need to learn restraint, to respond to far fewer situations, to ask yourself questions like, ‘Is this really important?’ ‘Could I let this behavior go?’ ‘What would happen if I just wait?’ ‘Could I lose by doing nothing?’ Stanley Turecki
Nature, we are starting to realize, is every bit as important as nurture. Genetic influences, brain chemistry, and neurological development contribute strongly to who we are as children and what we become as adults. For example, tendencies to excessive worrying or timidity, leadership qualities, risk taking, obedience to authority, all appear to have a constitutional aspect. Stanley Turecki
Normally an infant learns to use his mother as a ‘beacon of orientation’ during the first five months of life. The mother’s presence is like a fixed light that gives the child the security to move out safely to explore the world and then return safely to harbor. Louise J. Kaplan